Long weekend over and back to school routine settled in. I dropped my son off at his school and was happy to finally get some time to myself. Was rushing to Starbucks eager to start on my second blog post before meeting my friends later that day. As I’m reviewing in my mind what I want to express on the post, I get hit by a car.
The woman who hit me is waving her arms and yelling. We both get out of our cars to asses the damage. When we communicate she’s going on and on about her point of view. I’m so irritated that this person has hit me. Don’t like her pompous attitude and demeanor. I’m upset about the car. Upset about the deductible and my insurance going up. Angry with her for not making the stop. Angry with myself for rushing. At one point though, I decide I’m going to just let it go. I tell her there’s no point in discussing anymore what happened as it’s not going to change anything. I said lets just get the paper exchange done and go on about our day.
Sometimes, things happen that can put you into a bad mood. Bad moments occur that change the course of your feelings and then trigger other like feelings. You can start your morning off with the best of intentions and then end up in a car accident like I did. Or, have a bad experience at work, get into a confrontation with someone, lose your patience with someone, become angry, have your feelings hurt or your ego bruised.. etc.. And then of course there are always bigger issues like thoughts concerning health problems, heartbreak, sorrow, loss, financial crisis etc..
No one is happy 100% of the time; life happens, things come up. Happiness is not a state of being. It’s not a destination. It’s just a feeling along with all the other ones. Feelings come and go and it’s ok not to be happy all the time. Sometimes negative feelings come up that need to be acknowledged and released.
Having said that, I believe what’s important is to not let yourself fall into that negative place for too long. I sometimes find myself in a type of loop thinking or reliving a certain thought or experience over and over again in my mind. This can give off negative feelings like anger, sadness, frustration, resentment etc.. Or one negative thought triggering the next negative thought and before you know it you are stuck in a rut and have fallen into a downward spiral of grumpiness, pessimism, discouragement, cynicism, etc..
Every single moment is the start of a new opportunity for us to change our mindset. You can’t think two things simultaneously in one precise moment. So, what if you change the thought for the next moment to a happier one and then keep redirecting your mind to a better thought every time the negative loop starts occurring or negative thoughts return or are triggered. After some time you create a new loop, new thoughts that generate new good feelings, like gratitude, peace, happiness etc.. It sounds a bit too simple and elementary, but it really works.
When I find myself in these situations, I come up with different ways to change my mindset. Often an inspiring quote or a video can do the trick. I also use daily affirmations to set the tone for the day or get me out of a rut sometimes. I’ve been collecting affirmations, quotes and inspirational videos since 2009. Some I have written myself but most I have taken from books, songs, movies, shows, you-tube videos, known quotes and conversations I’ve had with people.
I’ve been sending these out almost daily to a small group of people over the years, and many have often given me feedback that a particular message or reminder was exactly what they needed to get them through their day or moment. Feedback like that many times makes my own day as I’m touched and honoured that I can have a positive impact on someone else in this small way.
I’ve decided to share these on my blog and I’ll be updating them regularly. If you find yourself looking to change your mindset, go though the list and find something that resonates with you. You will see how quick and easy it could be to change you mindset.
Going back to the day of my accident.. I didn’t end up working on my post that day nor did I get quality time to myself. I had to deal with the insurance and coordinating with the body shop and other tedious things related to the accident that brought it all up all over again. Also, turns out I was more shaken up than I first realized about being hit and still kinda pissed off that it happened. But I didn’t let it ruin my day. Every time my mind would have negative thoughts, I redirected it to a better place. So instead of letting the day go downhill, I kept redirecting it back up.
Sure, maybe this bad experience happened, but I’m very grateful that no one got hurt. I’m grateful that I’m lucky enough to have a car and insurance to handle these types of things. I did end up meeting my peeps at Starbucks and we had some good laughs over the whole thing. I felt their love and support and throughout the day the love and support of my family and other people in my life. These are the thoughts that I chose to focus on.