To some, the above image seems perverse. How can the guy let the woman pay for the date? Especially a first one? Is this guy cheap? Is he just a loser? I know, maybe he’s a misogynist just using women.
There are so many takes oh who pays for the first date . While there is merit on almost all arguments, I will tackle this from a progressive democratic (equitable) perspective. We want real equality. True unadulterated feminism would propose going dutch or taking turns. But is that really fair? Evidence shows that pay equity is far from being established. Simply put, in general, men should pay 17 % more of the bill.
A lot of women are traditional and prefer to take a back seat to dating, meaning following traditional mores where the man must take the initiative. Many men prefer this because they like to assume control of the relationship. While some women like this, what usually ensues is a mixup due to undefined barriers. This is due to a lack of a clear definition of gender roles in society and also the couple acting on what they want, what they expect, and how they think things should be; all in one felt swoop.
Mixed feelings and thoughts like the ones above are the making of mixed signals and expectations. People avoid talking about expectations because it may sway the happy cruise control they’re on. Both sexes need to know that the other is not against them. Rather, they’re as mixed up as you are. And not getting this out of the way will ruin a date. You will just be thinking about what to do when the cheque comes.
I’ve never had a problem with this because I would propose a splitting of the bill. If the woman reacted strangely, I would ask her what she preferred. As long as it sounded logical, I acquiesced. It just became natural. If the woman got upset with my statement, then she must have had issues I wasn’t going to deal with. So good riddance.
The above would never happen with me. And I would never be shy to have a lady pay. You’ve come a long way, baby.
So what’s the answer? Are chivalry and feminism incompatible? Not at all. But I daresay that women are as good in being knights as men are.
Enjoy life. Communicate. Empowerment yourselves.